"In the written scroll it is prescribed for me,
To do your will, O my God, is my delight,
and your law is within my heart!" -Ps. 40:8-9
09/15/2014 Memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows
"Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel departed from her." -Lk. 1:38
I've often wondered if Mary knew everything that she was agreeing to when she gave her 'yes' to the Angel Gabriel. If she didn't know at first, she definitely knew when they brought Jesus for his presentation at the temple, when Simeon told her that the rise and fall of many depended upon Jesus and that she too, would be pierced.
I think of it when I read the line of the Psalmist. "To do your will, O my God, is my delight". The truth is, doing God's will is not always a delightful experience. In fact, it can sometimes be very difficult to follow and do God's will. Today is the memorial of Our Lady of Sorrows, a time when we reflect on the suffering that Mary went through during Jesus' crucifixion. As she was suffering, watching her only child tortured and killed, I'm sure that Mary was not enjoying God's plan for her, but it was oriented toward a greater good, to offer salvation to all the world.
Two of the most difficult questions we are asked as believers are, first, how do you know that God exists, and second, if He exists, why do people suffer? For me, the two answers are linked. I would first say, that most suffering does not come from God, it comes from the fact that we live in a fallen world. When I think of suffering in that context it is usually with regard to real suffering like severe illness or poverty, starvation, and any of the other horrible things that people have to endure. I have heard of and seen people going through this type of suffering offering it up in prayer for other people that they know are struggling. To offer up suffering, uniting it with Christ's suffering, makes it a very powerful prayer.
When I talk about my suffering, however, it is a completely different thing. I have had some difficult times; times when I wasn't sure if I could pull myself or my family out of the hole, but none of those measure up (in retrospect) to real suffering. Still, in all of those times, I have taken my struggles to God. On at least one occasion this involved a very loud conversation, out loud and with some very harsh language. I cried out asking him to please help me because I had lost sight of what his plan was and was wondering what I had to do in order to do His will, and He heard me. Now, as I look back on the suffering and the stresses and anxiety that I had at the time, they all turn out to be signposts toward where I am now. I had always hoped that my wife would be able (if she wanted) to stay at home with our kids and eventually, I hoped that we could home-school our kids. Today, we are in that position. We live very modestly and things get pretty tight sometimes, but God led us to a situation where those things are possible.
So just like Our Lady's sorrow led to something miraculous for all of the world, our minor sufferings may just be signposts along God's path for us, leading us on to where He wants us to be. And that may just be where we were looking to go if we are in line with what He calls us to; His law that is written on our hearts.
God bless,
P.D.O.
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